Best books on consumerism and behavioral change.
Would you consider someone who already knows as a child what they want to become lucky?
I knew what I wanted to become at the age of five. It was clear to me that one day I'd become a fashion designer, and there was nothing that could have stopped me. EXCEPT the one thing that eventually did.
At the age of 19, I had to admit to myself that I no longer wanted to be a fashion designer.
I grew up drawing outfits. It was the only thing I could ever do for hours without looking at the clock. Designing outfits, pattern-cutting, and sewing was my happy place. It was what made me feel in flow. Until one day, it didn't feel like a worthy dream anymore.
Suddenly, it felt plain wrong to be a fashion designer and dedicate all my energy to being a part of an industry no one seemed to value anymore and that was polluting our planet more than any other.
It felt wrong to know how long it took me to sew a blouse. Knowing I could get one for € 19,99 at a store without any effort. How could I justify asking people to buy from me instead?
How could I have possibly justified trying to make money in an industry where people expect blouses to cost next to nothing?
I realized becoming a fashion designer no longer felt like a dream that felt true to who I was becoming. I started seeking advice and information to make sense of what I was observing and feeling.
Eventually, I dedicated my bachelor's and also my master's thesis to learning more about what it is that makes us value things. I've looked into advertising and propaganda techniques. I've researched attachment and value propositions and learned a bunch about behavioral change. Here are the six books I thought were most useful.
"I was also able to get rid of my rock climbing gear. I enjoyed rock climbing. That time I went to Joshua Tree National Park when I was in high school and climbed a couple of 150-foot routes was fabulous. The (maybe) four times I took my climbing shoes and chalk bag with me about an hour and a half's drive to Culp Valley in the high desert above Anza Borrego Desert State Park to do some bouldering was great fun. The few times I went to the Solid Rock indoor climbing gym was a blast. But though I had some rock climbing gear and had even built that small indoor climbing wall at the back of our garage to use to stay in shape, I was never going to be a rock climber. None of that gear was ever going to go anywhere near a large granite face in Yosemite. I had wished to be a rock climber. But I am not."
If there is one thing I've learned from Dave Bruno's book, it's that we hold on to things that remind us of who we'd like to be (seen as). We buy more expensive professional gear because it makes us feel more capable. We keep (unused) sports equipment because we might need it one day. And because it reminds us of how cool we are because we once did this or that.
It's thanks to this book that I was able to call myself out on why I was hanging on to certain things. Having such awareness demanded honesty because I could no longer ask myself: "Could I need this one day?" Instead, I began confronting myself: "What does it tell me about my self-image that I want to keep this?"
Because of this question I was able to give away all the classics I've collected over time. The question was suddenly: "Will I reread these books or do I want to be seen as someone who's read these books because I keep them on my bookshelf for others to see?"
What are the things I own telling other people about me? Do I need to keep them to make myself more valid? Am I brave enough to own and be the person I actually am? What image of myself am I still holding on to that no longer reflects who I am at that very moment?
It took me 10 years to let go of my sewing machine. How many times have I actually needed one since? Exactly once. And so I borrowed one from a friend. It's as easy as that, and for that, I'm grateful to Dave and his 100 things experiment.
To Have or to Be? – Erich Fromm
How much is enough? How much do we need to feel happy, comfortable, content, satisfied, valued? Erich Fromm questions growth for the growth's sake. He questions ownership and the public display of status. And it triggered me.
I remember when I first moved to Austria. My father made a deal with me that I'd get generous pocket money but that I'd have to pay for everything I wanted and needed. Coming from the Czech Republic, it was the first time I could freely afford to buy clothes. Needless to say, it escalated quickly. I couldn’t quite stop myself from wanting more, more, and even more.
Reading To Have or to Be? helped me assess what boosted my self-worth. It helped me identify what I attached my self-worth to. And it helped me learn how to focus on being instead of having. An essential lesson for someone who grew up in an economy where there wasn't enough and a lot felt unattainable...until it suddenly wasn't.
It's easy to frown upon people who are excited about getting/buying/receiving something that felt unattainable to them if it’s attainable without any effort. It's easy to criticize someone for wanting something that might feel like a commodity. It's easy to say I don't need a car or food from McDonald's when, to others, that car or burger might symbolize high status. Especially if, to us, this no longer symbolizes any sort of status.
But having that awareness, I must say, is something I had to learn. And I did, from Erich Fromm. An excellent book for those who question their status quo and their relationship to owning things. Which brings me to the next book...
Made by Hand: Searching for Meaning in a Throwaway World – Mark Frauenfelder
Born in 1986, my birthday was right before the fall of the wall and the iron curtain. My grandparents had a small farm and mostly sourced veggies, fruit, and meat from their garden. Whenever I needed to bring flowers to school (we did that a lot), my grandmother would give them to me.
My mother kept the sewing machine on the kitchen table almost always. My grandmother managed to provide me with a scratchy jumper at every occasion. You probably won’t be surprised when I tell you there was nothing I wanted more than to buy new, shiny things and shop at the supermarket.
It took me almost two decades to appreciate that I never thought cows were violet (ok, insider Austrian jokes because Viennese kids apparently believe cows are violet like the Milka cow from an ad) and knew where eggs came from. I knew. I got attacked by chickens enough times to remember their eggs were none of my business.
I read Made by Hand when I was searching for advice on how to learn to appreciate homemade things. Yet I've learned much more. I've learned that having the courage to screw things up is an actual skill because it's the people who dare to fail that also succeed at creating and innovating.
What I value most about Mark's book are his thoughts on our educational system. We are often trained to pursue perfection, and it's this conditioning that makes us all more afraid of becoming creators. It might be thanks to Mark's wise words that I've dared to publish a book despite not being a native English speaker. And it might be thanks to Mark's wisdom that I've trained myself to start my day doing something creative: I make myself = lunch boxes to save money. I never use recipes for them so that’s the creative bit in that story.
Over the years, and thanks to advertising, our society has been subconsciously trained to trust what we buy from experts instead of making things ourselves. We've also been trained to want stuff and not be satisfied with the basics we need.
I'm grateful for Mark's book because it made me aware and taught me how to appreciate homemade. Something I grew up with but despised for longer than I'm happy to admit.
Eating Animals – Jonathan Safran Foer
I turned vegan after leading Veganz's marketing department as an interim head of marketing. When I started working on the project, I was a meat-eater. Working with people who dedicated their lives to changing our dietary habits, I learned a lot in just a few months.
Once I decided to go vegan, I knew I needed help sticking to my decision. I picked up a few books, but it was Eating Animals that made making a vegan diet a priority in my life a no-brainer, and it was one specific insight that made me advocate veganism as I do now: Our idea of our food supply chain is outdated. Eating animal products is obsolete. It's no longer contemporary to eat a diet that's heavy on animal products. It's obvious. The climate crisis is our reality. Animal products cause so much harm (and CO2) that I no longer want to contribute to the consequences by not being able to opt-in for foods that don't cause such environmental damage. I still get immense pleasure from food, which now happens to be plant-based, and is often also much more creative and healthy than what I used to eat before. And that's a good thing. If you're ready for such a change, this might be a good book to start with.
I wonder how many New Year's resolutions never get fulfilled. Which is somehow understandable: How can you make a change if you haven’t made a plan for how you’ll implement that change?
After reading Better Than Before, I'd say there are two reasons why we struggle to fulfil what we want to see materialize. On one hand, it's due to how we set goals – they must be numeric and countable. To do “more of something” is impossible to measure and can’t be fulfilled. The other reason we struggle is that doing something new without attaching it to something we already do is an almost impossible task. Instead of saying I want to draw more in the new year, we need to say: “I will draw for 20 minutes every day during my morning coffee and before I’ve brushed my teeth.”
Thanks to Gretchen Rubin, I've not just learned how to set goals but also more about the different types of people and what motivates them. Gretchen divides people into four types: upholders, questioners, obligers, and rebels. They all have a different relationship to outer and inner expectations and have to trick themselves into doing things through various techniques. Knowing your type and understanding how to phrase an ask to live up to either inner or external expectations is the key to making a life-changing alteration and might also help when managing a team. So if that’s something you’re after, this would be the right book for you.
No Plot? No Problem! A Low-Stress, High-Velocity Guide to Writing a Novel in 30 Days – Chris Baty
In 2014 and after leaving Somewhere.com, I spent 30 days getting up at 6 a.m. every day to write 1,645 words. It was a life-changing experience. Mostly because it assured me I was able to write 50K+ words and could eventually finish something I started.
It's unlikely anyone will ever get to read that manuscript. I needed five years to gather the courage to learn how to create what I thought is probably the worst piece of writing anyone ever bothered to put to paper – which it wasn't. But even if it was relatively crappy, it was thanks to Chris Baty's encouraging book No Plot? No Problem! that I dared to have a go at writing. It was also thanks to his book that I learned how to make time and space for creative projects and how to trick myself to get over the fear of a blank page.
I've recommended this book to many wannabe writers over the years. But I do believe it's of value for even those who don't plan on writing a book.
No Plot? No Problem! is the perfect book for everyone who wishes to pursue a creative path but never seems to find time for it. It's a book that explains how to find the time and also the courage to create – whether for the public eye or just for yourself.
I hope some of my stories and book tips have resonated with you. I owe much of what makes me me, my relationship to consuming and spending and also my continuous pursuit of creative projects that I've received many compliments on, to the authors of these books. So maybe, if you want to rethink your consumption or introduce creativity to your day, it's time to pick up one of these books. I'm sure you won't regret it.
